Ever had your parents nag you about coming home early when you were out with your friends, if they even let you out at all? Or when they straight up wouldn’t let you get a job or internship when you were still in school? Thinking back, our parents were simply trying to protect us but was it too much? This is impossible to say and that is what makes parenting so hard.
What looks like good parenting techniques on the surface could handicap our children in the future. By not allowing them to go travel the world with their friends or simply getting a job when they are teenagers, may shield them from bad things happening but at the same time it can also rob them of the valuable life experience they need in order to succeed in life. So, is it possible to strike a balance to ensure you are protecting your children, while still giving them the space they need to grow?
Here are a few “good parenting” techniques that may actually be developing bad financial habits for your children:
Having Your Kids Focus on School
It may seem like it is a good parenting strategy to forbid your children from working, so they can focus on their studies and get the rest they need. However, this is a double edged sword that may do more harm than good. The idea behind this technique is to make sure your child is able to give their all to their studies and excel in school but we were kids too once and many of us wasted a lot of time with friends and hobbies.
This means that since your kids do not have their own income, they will be asking you for money, all of the time. Everytime they go out with their friends, when they want to buy new gadgets to fit in, or just pocket money. Since you stopped them from working, these are things you are going to have to shoulder. On top of this, kids and teens are not the most productive or responsible people out there and preventing them from working early on, can only reinforce those negative traits. It may even lead them to expect that everything will be handed to them whenever they want.
Many schools offer jobs and internship programs to their students. Having your child partake in these are a great way to help them build some experience in the real world and even make some income for themselves. This will build independence, improve time management, and they will also learn the true value of the money they are spending all of the time.
This experience can also help your child discover the things they love doing and what they are good in, which will go a long way in helping them find the path they want to walk down in the future.
Awarding Good Studying Habits
Every parent wants their kids to do well in school and get good grades. However, sometimes as parents we go about this the wrong way. We either become too strict and force our kids to study hard or we may even bribe them with cash or incentives, so they will be motivated to do well.
Both of these strategies will backfire as they only provide external motivations to excel. Take away the money or the strict routines and your kids won’t care about doing well. If your child is only doing their best because they are expecting an award, they are going to be sorely disappointed when they enter the workforce.
As good parents, we need to be cultivating self-motivation. Encourage your kids to do well because they want to succeed and not because they are going to get awarded. This will help improve their self-motivation, which will not only help them through school but it will also push them to find success in the real world.
Managing Your Kids’ Money
Many parents do not want to watch their kids fail and fall into debt once they leave the nest. For this reason, many of us will manage our kids’ finances for them. In order to help them out, we will have them give us a portion of their income so we can pay their bills and set aside some savings for them. However, this is only coddling your children.
Doing this will ensure that your kids will never know how to properly manage their own finances. All they will know is that once they give you a portion of their income, they can use the rest to go and have fun. They will have zero responsibility over their financial situation because they are just letting you handle everything and this is dangerous. What happens if something were to happen to you or if you are unable to manage their money anymore? It is like dropping your kid into the deep end of the pool when they do not know how to swim.
Rather than doing their finances for them. It is much better to simply teach them how to do it on their own. Show them how to save, invest, and budget their money. That way they are able to split up their income and handle their bills and expenses without needing you to do everything. This can also help them improve their financial prudence and they will be able to build their wealth much more effectively.
Giving Your Kids the World
As parents we want to make sure that we are providing only the best for our kids and there is nothing wrong with this. It is only natural to want to ensure that our children have a better life and childhood than what we had growing up. However, if we are not careful we may end up spoiling our kids without realizing it.
A good example is when we purchase them something from a high-end brand. You may be thinking that your kids will be able to enjoy it more because it is much better quality compared to other options, it feels better, and it will simply last much longer. However, your kids will only see it as an expensive thing that you are getting them without realizing the value of the item. They will just assume that the more it costs, the better it is and that is not true at all.
If you decide to get your child something that is a bit more expensive or from a renowned brand, it is important to explain to them why that item costs more than others. And if you get them something that is a bit more affordable but still good, explain why the quality is still superb despite being cheaper than some of the other big brands out there.
It is important to help your child understand the difference in quality, rather than simply getting something based on cost and brand.
As you can see, all of these examples are common things that many parents are doing today. We just want to give only the best to our kids and help them succeed but if we hold their hand too much, we will never allow our kids to spread their wings and find their own way in life.The best we can do is guide them and give them the advice they need but we mustn’t do it for them. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is loosen our grip a little and watch our kids grow and explore life on their own.